play food
by silverkite
Summary: Randy is baffled with Christian's creativity towards food... M/M


A/N: thanks for the previous review and liking my other stories, i hope to follow that up and not let you readers down.

Disclaimer: not mine.

warning: M/M

Play Food

He always has something in his mouth. It's like a signature. Randy watches as Christian clamps on a lollipop and tries not to get off on it. The man always has to have something in that mouth (which, Randy thinks self satisfactorily, isn't so bad in the long run.) and it didn't matter what it was- hard candy, gum, peanuts- anything he could get a hold of. Of course he ended up playing with it more often than not- Randy can attest to the man's creativity with food games. He's seen him catch honey coated nuts in his mouth which he tossed high in the air first, then engaged Randy in a game of a peanut-basketball which involved tossing a nut into an open mouth- three points if you get in a couple of em at once. Randy has to learn that aiming a small peanut is different from trying to shoot a basketball and usually loses because he overshoots or air-balls or forfeits because he thinks he might blind Christian since most his shots land on his boyfriend's eye (he enjoys apologising though) If Christian can't get Randy to indulge him, he'll throw nuts at someone else (he's seen Christian throw nuts into sheamus' mouth from across the aisle after the Irishman had decided to take him on much to the annoyance of several other wrestlers who didn't appreciate being pelted with the nuts that missed the supposed mouths and three flight stewardesses who were casualties of the peanut war) or he'd start a peanut fight much to everyone's chagrin (though Randy thinks everyone enjoys it as much as Christian does anyway.) tossing the first shot at someone who he obviously knows will react in the same manner- usually sheamus because let's face it the man is just a big red bulls eye in Christian's opinion. Sometimes hunter has to tell Christian to knock it off and withhold his in flight peanuts (for the sake of his and everyone else's sanity of course- but come on, Shawn has done worse with just a bag of nuts) and he'll look severely chastised much to Randy's amusement, but after several kisses and assurances that hunter just doesn't want to go crazy, Christian will bounce back by the next flight and will use popcorn for ammo next. He's also talented with pretzels. He likes to make little pretzel figures and will constantly pester Randy to get him to guess what animal or human (how a pretzel can resemble a human is beyond him but he tries anyway, he likes seeing that big silly grin when Christian tells him who or what it is) "what? No! It's not edge, it looks nothing like him!" Christian says, looking at the mess of pretzels on his tray then looking at Randy again who thinks it looks like the other three pretzel doodles (which happened to be a cow, a bird of some sort and a hippo- in that order.) he shook his head, "I give up. Is it sheamus?" he asks, reaching over to steal a pretzel stick, popping it in his mouth as Christian frowns at his masterpiece and vehemently denies it, "it's you! See?" he pokes at the peanut head and Randy raises his brow, "you think my head is shaped like a peanut?" he asked, slightly miffed. Christian grinned, "kinda, a little bit, but it's a cute peanut head anyway" and he leans over and presses a kiss to Randy's lips and he thinks he can let this one slide- and the pretzels are forgotten in favor of making out.

Sometimes Christian has gum with him. And that can only end in two ways. The first is that he'll try to blow the biggest bubble possible with the help of the entire pack he'd bought from the airport concession stand. He never does get it right, the bubble more often than not pops before he can get it to "just the right size" which means by the time the plane lands, his jaw will be sore from chewing on a giant wad of gum or he'll look like someone who fell asleep in gum- which results from the bubble bursting, bits and pieces clinging to his face. The second outcome is that Christian will eventually grow tired of blowing bubbles (there are only so many tries before he gets bored with trying to blow a round one- he'd asked Randy if it was possible to blow a square one once.) and try to stick the bit of chewed gum onto any wrestler he can get away with- which usually means Randy has to deal with an angry Irishman who wants to "gut that weasel and feed his intestines to the dogs" after the man discovers the gum on a greater portion of his jeans. Then he gets more creative, he uses his gum as an adhesive for his little pretzel sticks and tries to make a tower or a house or any structure that can go as high as it can without toppling over when they land- which usually ends up falling over onto the unfortunate person sitting in front of Christian's seat. And Randy has to deal with them (thank god it's not sheamus) which can be Daniel Bryan who will challenge Christian at building the highest tower on their next flight much to randy's irritation and Christian's glee. An irked sin cara who will speak in rapid fire Spanish and they'll both stare, Christian unabashedly unapologetic but fascinated (because he has the attention span of a rabbit, in Randy's opinion) and Randy, well he's more worried of what sin cara can and would do. It's worse when it's mark Henry. The man weighs heavier than them both and looks meaner, but Randy has learned (despite thinking that these un-Mark Henry lapses had been luck in Christian's part) that mark has developed an incredibly large tolerance for Christian's behavior and one smile from the Canadian will have him shaking his head and muttering about damn Canadian blondes fondly and maybe he'll try giving a bit of advice so Christian can build a better tower. It's funny when it's wade Barrett, because Randy thinks Christian does topple his tower on purpose if he knows the Brit is in front of him. Randy thinks it's because he likes to hear the Brit talk- and talk they do, topics about architecture and stability which will branch out to documentaries or movies or several bits of information that will no doubt be irrelevant with regard to Christian's next gum and pretzel tower. "Hey Randy." a poke and Randy opens an eye, it's been a long day, he's spent it being man handled by dibiase and he just wants to sleep. "What is it?" he mumbles, because he knows Christian won't stop bothering him until he complies. The blonde gestures to a pretzel house, Randy blinks and clears the signs of sleep from his eyes, "what's that?" it's different from the towers he's seen (and on occasion, helped build) "you guess!" Christian chirps happily, he seems rather proud of this one (since he hasn't attempted to shove it onto the person seated in front of him) Randy squints at it, "it's just a pretzel house" Christian shakes his head and grins that big smile, "nope, it's our house" he says quietly, looking at it fondly then at randy with a sheepish smile. Randy gives a breathy laugh and wraps an arm around Christian, tucking him to his side, "so it is." he nods, pressing a kiss to the blonds forehead.

Randy remembers Christian bringing the little lollipops that were shaped like big tacky gems on little plastic rings on one flight, thoughtfully sucking on a green one as he scribbled on the crossword he'd bought from the bookstore when randy took the seat beside him. And randy had stared. "What are you eating?" he asked, scowling at the pack on the blonde's lap. "Candy." Christian answers, entranced by his puzzle, before licking his lips and going back to eating his lollipop. Randy eyes him for several critical moments before tearing his eyes off the man and taking a deep breath he tries to distract himself by looking at the other wrestlers in the plane. And it didn't help because some were giving Christian strange glances and randy grew more and more wary at the stares his obviously oblivious boyfriend was receiving. There's an obscene pop and randy steels himself and turns slowly to look at Christian, the man is still stuck on that puzzle, completely obtuse at how red his lips are and his Tongue sticks out a bit as he ponders on the answer, tapping the candy against his swollen lips. He looks at randy but doesn't really see him because he's still looking at that damn crossword, "hey what's that thing at the end of a shoelace called again?" he asks and randy just loses it, grabs Christians hand which is holding that stupid lollipop and drags him to the back of the plane and stuffs them both into the furthest bathroom, because there is only so much randy can really take and seriously, that man was asking for it. And Christian swears he's never ever going to buy those lollipops ever again, because, while it was great and everything (because he'd always wondered what it would be like but was too shy to ask) the looks he received from the other wrestlers which ranged from amusement to all-knowing smugness had him evading the locker room for weeks and blanching and flushing red at every comfort room in planes for months. And randy, well let's say he'd looked like a cat who'd eaten the canary so to speak.

They're always on a strict diet- except Christian because he lost any weight he gained easily. This time it was a pack of twizzlers and three packs of skittles. The colourful candy pieces were scattered on his foldable tray (it was starting to become a work desk, randy thought) and he was grouping them into colours, twizzler candy sticking out of his mouth like a cigarette stick as he chewed on it, busily dividing the sweets. Randy looked over and raised a brow, "what're you up too?" Christian looks at him and grins, "me and Daniel are gonna play poker." randy looks suspicious, "now?" Christian nods, pushing several similarly coloured candy to a corner. "and bets?" he asks because the last time Christian had played poker it had been a strip poker game and he was playing against del rio (and the pervert hadn't even explained the rules that clearly- it made Randy's blood boil) And randy really did not want another repeat of that situation. "yup!" Christian answered vaguely, randy hoped that meant they were going to use candy as bargaining chips. "wish me luck" he says with a grin as he detaches the tray from the seat(and randy has this niggling feeling that they're not even supposed to do that). Randy gives him a quick kiss and sets him loose, he can see Daniel Bryan waving Christian over to the back of the plane. He consoles himself on the idea that Daniel is a good kid and settles into the seat and tries to enjoy the momentary peace without worrying. When randy wakes up Christian is in his seat, looking at the window. And randy senses something is wrong because Christian never behaves on a flight. Willingly at least. "you're back." randy says, stretching his arms a bit. Christian startled and looks like he's been caught doing something bad. Randy scowls, "what is it?" "I uh... Well..." randy nods, "okay you lost, and?" Christian gives a nervous laugh, "uh... Well I kinda ate some of my chips so I owe Daniel..." randy sighs, never ever let Christian bet with edible chips. Ever. "and?" "and..." randy frowns even more when Christian blushes and fidgets in his seat, he glances around, most guys are already asleep and some have earphones glued to their ears. "I'm... I'm" he squirms some more and finally just leans forward to whisper into Randy's ear. The viper is so surprised by what he hears that he can't believe that Daniel Bryan would even encourage that kind of behaviour. "are you sure?" he asks with a curious look, and Christian nods and looks around again nervously, "rules." he explained. Not that randy was complaining anyway. He nodded and motioned him over, Christian checked again before sliding into the viper's lap, looking almost shy. Randy ran his hands up Christian's back and sides, "relax" he murmured, dropping his hands to rub inside the lean thighs straddling his waist. Christian swallowed and shivered, embarrassed and equally stimulated by the touch. Randy drew him closer and kissed his collar, licking the dip where the bones met, his hands busying themselves with touching and feeling, he groped Christian's bottom and the blonde gave a soft whimper, "shhh shhh, you have to be quiet or you'll wake them up" randy murmured, nosing the skin on his neck. Christian nodded wordlessly, not trusting himself to speak. Then randy's hands slipped under his layers of clothing, fingers brushing the sensitive chest, idling over the familiar scar from the pectoral surgery before gripping the blondes hips as their lips met. Daniel quietly retreats to the back of the plane and satisfactorily pops a few skittles into his mouth as he sat on his seat and watched the in flight movie. If the only way Christian was ever going to behave and not raise hell- he thinks one day the Smackdown roster might mutiny against the blonde and toss him off the plane- was by betting with him to "make out with Orton while everyone's sleeping" (Orton, in Daniel Bryan's opinion, needs to relax- the man was as tightly coiled as a snake) then he'd have to trick him again on the next flight, he schemes, putting on the large earphones when the breathless pants reach him. He grins again and makes himself comfortable, good thing the movie selection wasn't that bad either. And he's too focused on Sherlock Holmes' quirky behaviour as discussed by John Watson to even bother checking up on the two. By the time he's done watching two movies he cautiously peers through the curtain to check if the coast was clear and stepped out into his row again, glimpsing Orton and Christian both miraculously asleep and huddled against each other, randy looking rather relaxed and pleased and Christian curled half on top of the vipers abdomen, long legs tucked against himself. Daniel Bryan gives a satisfied nod and joins sin cara on their seats. Yep, he'd definitely need to trick the Canadian again.

Randy's fondest memory of Christian's food binging habits is when you added Christian and chocolate. Several scenarios would occur. Number one: everyone would want some and Christian, being the kind person he was would give most of it away and be stuck with only a few pieces left (which according to him, did not have as much entertainment value as having a whole lot more) but he'd still give the remaining pieces away or shared it wholeheartedly which made randy love him even more for it. Second scenario would involve apologising for being annoying (usually with regard to Sheamus) or gratitude to someone, randy had been on the receiving end of a few packs of chocolate even if he rarely ate sweets and Christian usually ended up eating most of it anyway. Or as gifts to people whose birthdays he'd forgotten which happened often. But the best scenario, in Randy's opinion is when Christian is eating the chocolate. A little background on the man: he makes the happiest noises randy has only ever known to associate with sex. It's almost erotic on his part and Christian doesn't even know it. Now the Canadian isn't particularly seductive, he's ten times as awkward as a teenager and it's humorous when he tries (they both get hurt when he's trying because he manages to freak himself out when he's doing it- but they get to the point of it all anyway) - but this right there was a goddamn fuck me now please and thank you bell. If that's not the worst part, Christian manages to eat like a cat. No it's a fact. When the chocolate becomes melted, most people would pop it in the fridge- but he just licks the sweet right out from the wrapper much to randy's chagrin. They'd talked about it, about the uh licking, but Christian says he's not even doing anything wrong and randy is stuck in a foul mood and a hard on until it's safe to take off the seat belts and drag the man to another airplane compartment (it should traumatise him like the stupid lollipops but no, it was chocolate, apparently it was more difficult to get over than lollipops) sometimes he thinks the man is doing it on purpose- but randy knows he doesn't mean to do it. But it doesn't stop him from looking so damned sinful. "Nothing today?" randy asks, turning to look at Christian who has been fiddling with the window cover and his tray for a while now, but there aren't any packets of sweets. Christian smiles "nothing yet." he stops playing and fishes his iPod and plays with a few games there instead. It's not until they're up in the air that Christian eagerly digs into his bag and pulls out a slightly squished chocolate bar. Randy looks derisively over to a few of the other wrestlers who seemed to be minding their own business, listening to music or asleep. "I'm warning you to put that away now or so help me" randy mutters stiffly, he thinks they can only get away with plane sex so often that hunter might start becoming suspicious. Christian pauses and looks at him, "it's not melted I swear" he replies defensively, peeling the wrapper. Randy grabs it away from him, "no. I swear if I have to fuck you in an airplane again I'm goin to do it so hard that you won't be able to walk straight for a month." randy growled, giving a well placed glare. Christian hesitates then pouts (because all mature people pout.) "not fair randy," he says, then he thinks about it and randy just dreads what the blonde will prioritise. "so... If I let you-" randy groaned, threatening apparently meant nothing to the man. And chocolate ranked higher than dignity. Huh, imagine that. "okay, we'll share!" Christian decides rather loudly. Randy looks at him with confusion, "I'm not partial to sweets, that's your thing." "c'mon randy, you're depriving me here" he whined, "I'll even let you have the first bite!"and randy sighed and as much as he just wanted to chuck it away he doesn't want to risk sitting next to a kicked looking Christian (and as much as the other superstars have to deal with the blonde goofball, they all have a certain degree of a soft spot for him and randy knows they're going to kick Randy's ass first and ask questions later) so he takes a bite out of the sweet begrudgingly. Then, surprises never stopped with him, Christian suddenly leans over and kisses him, and randy pauses mid chew to try and process what the fuck Christian was up to and the sneaky bastard actually laps at the piece in his mouth- and randy likes a challenge, grabs the back of Christian's head and wrests the chunk away- they go at it for a while until Christian realises air is more important and draws back with a shaky breath. Randy blinks almost dazedly at Christian who licks at the viper's lips with a curious look, tasting. Then the blonde leans in and kisses him again. It's exploratory, mapping out already familiar areas, he's chasing the taste, randy realises with a soft snicker, returning the kiss idly. Christian draws back again and tilts his head with a grin, "you taste like chocolate."


End file.
